I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
