I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
