we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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