So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
