I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
