I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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