In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
