sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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