we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize