My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
