I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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