There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
