Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
