So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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