I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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