i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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