Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
