it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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