In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
