No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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