We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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