Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
