I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
