When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
