I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
