Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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