I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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