Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
