found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
