I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
