Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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