When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
