i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
