I must be too annoying 4 u.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
