just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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