Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
