then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
