I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just blew my weed a kiss
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
