and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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