I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
