And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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