I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
we should paint friendship bongs
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