conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
