Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
