new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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