Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
