I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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