I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize