Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
