Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
