Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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