As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
drinking out of a sandbucket again
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
