What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
