Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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