it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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