last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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