I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
