i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
