I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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