just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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