My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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