So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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