Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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