Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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