Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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