I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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