i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
