As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
