I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
His hands were made for my vagina.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize