Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
