At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
